What time it is

Children’s milestones pass with the swiftness of a massive pile up at the Daytona 500, usually without the smell of fuel and the fire.

With each hurdle comes feelings of pride and sense of accomplishment along with a little sadness, these small humans grow up too fast. Sleeping arrangements definitely fall victim to these emotions: when its time for change, questions arise; The crib is a spot to chill, a place to sleep, a zone of comfort, a cage to keep them confined and a safe haven to keep them out of shitstorms all in one. So when should the small human be given a bed?

Our son has a very basic crib, we opted for this as my mother said when I was a child I had chewed through one of the lead paint covered 1970’s wooden bars on mine. So we figured, even though lead painted childrens furniture is next to impossible to source these days, we’d keep it simple and instead of getting a fancy convertible sleigh crib just do it up with the simplest Ikea one.

This also gives me the opportunity to purchase a race care bed which will be pure joy for me to buy and awesomeness for My son to sleep in. I always wished I had one of these during my childhood, which tells you something about the neglect and impoverished state I was growing up in 🙂

So, back to the question at hand: I may be excited to buy the race car bed and the boy will surely love it, but when is it really time to make the transition? This decision has to be governed by what is best for him, not when I feel the need to purchase the awesome race car bed. So: Should it be decided based on age? When we feel he will sleep through the night without escaping, or wrecking his room, or coming into our room, kicking me out of bed to be with mommy?

I know one thing for sure. We need the race car before he climbs out and over, falls down and busts his face.

Christmas trees and power tools

Maybe the holiday season is about Christ, maybe it’s about presents, maybe it’s about good will and cheer to all: it’s mostly about tree’s though.

We all love having living plants in our homes. Cut flowers get you in with the wife, a nice plant gets you in with your mother in law. But what I love is the Christmas tree. When else other then christmas do we get to have an 8 ft tree in our house. It smells good, it looks cool, there will be gifts nestled under it for us, it’s obviously THE best.

There is one other reason I have such fond feelings for Xmas trees: it gives me a reason to get out the sawzall and do some cutting! Not to mention my son REALLY liked “power tool Sunday” now that’s a tradition worth celebrating.

Snickering to the oldies

There are many ways to score points with the wife; snickering while she struggles to hopelessly reason with your two-year old son is not one of them.

The mind of a two-year old cares not that mommy is exhausted and wants to get the kitchen cleaned up and go to bed, never mind that its past his bedtime and his powers of reasoning have waxed beyond their gruesomely weak normal range. As I watched the scene below unfold I laugh:

Mother is trying to load the dishwasher, baby boy is engrossed with the 2 levels of racks he’s sliding in and out, on wheels nonetheless! Then he spots the cheese grater, being unsure of its purpose, he pulls it out and exclaims “what’s dis?”

Mommy is trying to be nice but is rapidly losing it and grabs it to put it back, I snicker and explain “that’s for cutting cheese to put on pizza” now the boy decides he should crawl under the open door, proclaim he is pooping, then freak out because he doesn’t want the dishwasher door to be closed.

Really all mundane moments in day-to-day life, but I find this power struggle HILARIOUS: so I laugh. Wife is not appreciative to say the least.

So really the advice here would be: don’t laugh, help clean up. I find this impossible and continue to laugh.

The keeping Game

There’s a little known game my wife is fond of called “the keeping game”

Basically you grab ahold of someone and hug them tight, when they want to stop hugging… you refuse.  There are many incarnations of this game such as sitting on, lying on, and holding on.  I myself am not a fan.  I love getting and giving hugs, but on my own terms.  A too long hug becomes a torture chamber of sweatiness.

This game is the BEST to play with children!  They too have the urge to get away, I think it must be an inborn reflexive behaviour similar to fight or flight & moro reflex.  The difference is in the size, these lil’ns can’t get away! they have a 90% mass defecit.

Bottom line is; kids love hugs, kisses and tickles and we their parents love to give them these things.  So keep on keepin ’em!

Here’s an instructional video for you.

Computer smash

Life is fast. Sometimes you gotta stop and take a look around. We all know this, fewer abide by it, many times a day I curse myself for missing a milestone of one of our kids because I was working.

Children are lucky enough to live in a world devoid of responsibility and act appropriately so. My son smashes through his world with reckless and dangerous abandon every moment.

It’s great to watch this fury of spontaneous combustion roaming through the house punishing inanimate objects, not thinking about his purpose. Or so you would think, these small humans actions are far more calculated then we give them credit for.

Case in point: just this evening as my son ran around with hulk gloves on, smashing tables and whatever else he perceived to be in his way, he calculated that I WAS NOT ‘taking time to smell his putrid brand of roses’ I was working on my laptop. So… When I got up to get a beverage he made his move. Smashed my apple and forced me to pay attention to him.

Lucky for me the hulk gloves are very forgiving and no damage was done. Point taken little man; time to play.